yesterday was a true nightmare...I received a package monday from my brother Mark in Illinois (O'Fallon, suburb of St. Louis)...he had evidently sent me a laptop at christmas but am still not sure it was him though I did write and thank him for it and he never replied to confirm it was him that did this...the laptop package came from Amazon.com and there was no indication to inform me who had sent it but I had assumed it was him. I promised him a drum made by me as a thank you at some point in the not to distant future; however, my dog ate the deer skin I planned to use so am considering now using my furred fawn skin as a substitute..phew..this is so bad what happened...when I wrote Mark the day after I received the package, I sent a copy of my email to my son John, who has come home from hawaii and is now living in phoenix. john says he has a problem with drug use and he said that is why he left hawaii he checked himself into treatment before he moved over to hawaii and was there for a month...his leaving hawaii happened just before mothers' day and coupled with son tony's issues up in bellingham, well...it's gross how they are progressing with their lives frankly but, other than feeling extremely tired and depressed about these things, I'm ok, just feeling that I can't get everything done I need to do because the weed wacker won't run, the mice are chewing up my house, it rains too much, whatever...typical gripes I suppose...so...still rambling on in preamble to what happened to make yesterday A NIGHTMARE!!
I told Mark about John coming home from Hawaii. I am sure I would not have sent a copy of my email to Mark to John..I know I wouldn't have done this.... yesterday during a group session of local writers, I get a call on my cell phone and it's my son John...he starts off saying to me 'that email you sent Mark was totally inappropriate'...and it got worst from there...this has happened before with him...'nope I'm not talking to you' is what he says and he's so far away that you just can't fix this but he has a terrible temper and you'd not want to be close to him when he's got big thunder clouds across his forehead anyway...so today I feel sick and depressed, just kind of want to curl up in a ball somewhere and cry like a beaten dog...my assumption is my hotmail account was hacked, I wouldn't have sent john a copy of the email to mark to rub his nose in it that he has issues with drugs..nope, not that I know better t han that, rather that what I believe John is up to in his life is all mixed up in a bunch of other stuff and once every few years we get together for a holiday in Maui...or so we had done until he moved to Phoenix...now I feel as though I won't be going there anymore either because John is staying with my daughter Angel and he'll have told her 'what mom did'...and so on into the night...yep I feel as though I might cry...angel is expecting a baby in late october/halloween/ she says...don't know the sex of the baby yet, she's too busy to write on facebook anymore...well, we went through this not talking to one another thing last year when son Tony broke up with his girlfriend, I don't know how I got to be the bad guy but they all stopped talking to me when that happened...big sigh..if that's not bad enough I haven't seen good ol dobe since january and he texted me a couple weeks ago saying he'd stopped by my house and I wasn't home...well...I haven't replied to that text and he's had back surgery and likewise isn't posting on facebook anymore either..so...yeah, I feel like crying...well...I feel like a used up worn out old bag and am severely depressed, that's what...my feelings are hurt pretty much all the way around, dobe's not very pleasant when I am there and it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would, get married fix up the house, live here, have a real practice, etc. instead I'm still doing what I've always done and got no money, etc. having to live next door to the real alien abductress as well...that's probably at the root of the problem but don't feel as though this is a fixed situation..not yet anyway...
I told Mark about John coming home from Hawaii. I am sure I would not have sent a copy of my email to Mark to John..I know I wouldn't have done this.... yesterday during a group session of local writers, I get a call on my cell phone and it's my son John...he starts off saying to me 'that email you sent Mark was totally inappropriate'...and it got worst from there...this has happened before with him...'nope I'm not talking to you' is what he says and he's so far away that you just can't fix this but he has a terrible temper and you'd not want to be close to him when he's got big thunder clouds across his forehead anyway...so today I feel sick and depressed, just kind of want to curl up in a ball somewhere and cry like a beaten dog...my assumption is my hotmail account was hacked, I wouldn't have sent john a copy of the email to mark to rub his nose in it that he has issues with drugs..nope, not that I know better t han that, rather that what I believe John is up to in his life is all mixed up in a bunch of other stuff and once every few years we get together for a holiday in Maui...or so we had done until he moved to Phoenix...now I feel as though I won't be going there anymore either because John is staying with my daughter Angel and he'll have told her 'what mom did'...and so on into the night...yep I feel as though I might cry...angel is expecting a baby in late october/halloween/ she says...don't know the sex of the baby yet, she's too busy to write on facebook anymore...well, we went through this not talking to one another thing last year when son Tony broke up with his girlfriend, I don't know how I got to be the bad guy but they all stopped talking to me when that happened...big sigh..if that's not bad enough I haven't seen good ol dobe since january and he texted me a couple weeks ago saying he'd stopped by my house and I wasn't home...well...I haven't replied to that text and he's had back surgery and likewise isn't posting on facebook anymore either..so...yeah, I feel like crying...well...I feel like a used up worn out old bag and am severely depressed, that's what...my feelings are hurt pretty much all the way around, dobe's not very pleasant when I am there and it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would, get married fix up the house, live here, have a real practice, etc. instead I'm still doing what I've always done and got no money, etc. having to live next door to the real alien abductress as well...that's probably at the root of the problem but don't feel as though this is a fixed situation..not yet anyway...
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